Chivalry

Vietnam, or rather the men of Vietnam, can sometimes be pretty infuriating. I was looking at a secondhand Honda Dream the other day, priced at 9 million VND. The guy selling the bike jerked a finger at the wire basket attached at the front and said,''It's a great bike for girls like you. You can go to the grocery market and back.''
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The other day I was moving out a corner sofa that I had just bought from a friend. I carried one end and an Australian guy was holding the other. We loaded them into the back of a rental truck and I rode alongside the truck until we arrived at my house. I hop off my bike and head around to the back of the truck, but to my confusion the driver hadn't gotten out of the cab, so I walk up and ask if we can start unloading the sofas.

Driver: I'm waiting for the man of the house.

Vi: There is no man of the house. There's just me.

Driver: You? You can't carry this sofa.
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It's a fine line between chivalry and vomit-inducing sexism. My xe om driver asks why I never wear makeup or skirts. Another driver said he'd never want to move to the U.S. because he considered the men to be pussy whipped. Being expected to wash dishes and take care of the children? They're just like women!

One xe om driver, upon learning I was 22 and unmarried, urged me to get married as soon as possible, since I'd find it impossible to find a man willing to marry an old maid of 23. (Two months till my prime childbearing years are forever lost!)

To be fair, it's possible I just ran into a bunch of insecure jerks. Most Vietnamese women I know married around 25-27, which is about par with the U.S. And in some ways, Vietnam could be considered progressive; it celebrates International Women's Day, Vietnamese Women's Day, and Valentine's Day, so that's three times the opportunity for free food.