My cousin Ken is horrible at improvisation. I think this is because his gigantic brain comes up with so many plausible ways in which a story could go that he chokes because even he can't handle how brilliant he is. For example, last August I received a phone call that went something like this:
Ken: Hey Vi! Did you , erm, did you happen to see, ah...well, there was this amazing thing! I mean, I was...this strange, kind of...on the internet, and I can't quite figure out what it is, but..it's really crazy, and...
Vi: Ken. Are you okay?
Ken: ...Okay. I wanted to be all surprising but just go to this website and check out this crop circle I did.
At this juncture I didn't screech, "Since when do you know how to make crop circles?" because every so often Ken will casually bring up his latest project, which would either be knitting, cycling across the country, screenprinting his own t-shirts, or baking bread in a rice cooker. I only know about the last part because he was in town once for a translator's conference and staying at my place. The only food in the place was some ramen, milk, a tiny sack of flour and maybe some dried cranberries. I came home to see him gnawing on a loaf of cranberry bread, and then he took me to the local Safeway and introduced me to food that didn't come in the shape of a cup.
Below is the crop circle. Apparently it was a happy accident that Ken was along for the trip; he was in the Mozilla offices for some translation work and saw some plans for creating a crop circle. Then he pointed out that the pi coordinates were totally wrong, they said, "You know how to make crop circles?" and here's where I imagine Ken replying, "Darn tootin'! Have you
seen the fields next to UC Santa Cruz?"
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Caution: Badass Geek ahead.